Gunfightin' Avocado Chicken and Zucchini

Shifty eyes.  Black hats.  Gunsmoke.

This grill ain't big enough for the two of us.

Are you fast enough?  MEAN enough?

This southwestern chicken is out for revenge.

Today we're making grilled chicken and zucchini.  Cooking meat and vegetables over fire is a human-basic skill that everyone should know how to do properly.  It's easy and it makes food taste better.... LOTS better.  

Before we can do that, we need to talk about grills.

A grill is a tool, Marian; no better or no worse than any other tool: an ax, a shovel or anything.  A grill is as good or as bad as the man using it.  Remember that.

This is a grill.  It holds the fire that you put the food over.  The best fire is made with wood, burned down until it becomes hot coals.  No one has time for this, so the second best option is charcoal (natural lump is best, briquettes are still good), because this is wood that has already been burned, and then deprived of oxygen when it becomes coals, for you to re-burn as needed.  Shortcut.

The least best option for making fire is propane/natural gas.  It is very convenient, but does not make wood smoke.  Wood smoke has a savory flavor that is infused into the food.  Propane smoke has a bitter flavor that is infused into the food.  I'm not trying to rain on your propane parade, but facts are facts.  Wood fire adds savor, propane fire adds bitter, but these are subtle flavors, so don't let it stop you from enjoying what you have.  I'm not here to gatekeep.

Dryin' ain't much of a grillin', boy

We also need to talk about meat.  Specifically meat over fire.  Fire is hot and dry, but you want your meat to be hot and juicy.  Achieving the perfect crispy, textured exterior with a juicy, flavorful interior isn't as hard as looks, you just need to know some things:

1. Searing is stupid.  There is no such thing as "locking in the flavor."  If there was, people wouldn't sear prime rib at the end, smoke ribs low and slow, or use a sous vide and torch at the finish line.  Besides, you want to infuse the flavor of the fire into your meat while cooking, and if the flavors were already locked in there, you would miss out.  The point of searing is to get a crispy, flavorful exterior, not to do anything to what's inside.

2. Salt is magic.  Salting meat draws out the juices.  You would think this is opposite of what you want, but turns out it's EXACTLY what you want.  You can salt with salt, or by salting with a marinade.  Properly salting your food is a big part of making sure it turns out the way you want.

3. Temperature is everything.  The difference between juicy and flavorful and chicken-flavored saltines is only a few degrees.  This is no time for guesswork, especially with chicken breasts.  Get your instant-read thermometer out and measure like an adult.  Poking your hand and then your chicken to see how done it is will just burn your finger and ruin your dinner.  

So.  Now that those are out of the way, here's what we're gonna do, pilgrim:

Gunfightin' Avocado Chicken

Marinade:

• 3 Tablespoons Olive Oil
• 2 Garlic Cloves, Minced
• Juice of 1 Lime
• 1/4 Cup Chopped Fresh Cilantro
• 1/2-3/4 Teaspoon each: 
• Cumin
• Paprika
• Salt
• Black Pepper (fresh cracked)

Mix all of these up in a bowl and set them aside for now.

Chicken Breasts:

• 4-6 Boneless, Skinless Chicken Breasts

Trim the rib meat, then pound each breast to an approximately even thickness.  Place all in a large gallon-size bag and pour in the marinade.  Seal the bag, mix the bag so the marinade covers everything, then put it in the fridge for 1-12 hours.  More is better.  You can go less, but you'll regret your choices.

Grill chicken over medium-high heat (minimum 500 on the grill thermometer).  Turn once every 5 minutes until the meat thermometer says 155 F, then remove, loosely cover with foil, and rest the meat for 10 minutes so it can finish at 165 F (don't worry, it will).

Notice the position of the charcoal vs. the position of the chicken.

Avocado Salsa:

• 2 Large Ripe Avocados, Diced (chunky but not huge)
• 1 Tomato, Chopped
• 1/2 of a Red Onion, Chopped
• 1 Medium Jalapeno, De-Seeded, Chopped
• 1/4 Cup Fresh Chopped Cilantro
• Juice of 1 Lime 
• Salt and Pepper to Taste

Combine all ingredients in a bowl until a relatively uniform chunky salsa is created. To plate: slice the chicken breast and top with a healthy amount of the salsa. 

Pro tip: let this sit in the fridge for an hour or so before you use it for excessive tastebud magic.

 

Gunfightin' Grilled Zucchini:

Every hero needs a sidekick, and for every grilled meat there's a grilled vegetable.  Today's choice is Zucchini.

Ingredients:

• 1 Medium Zucchini, Sliced to 1/2-3/4"
• 3 Tablespoons Olive Oil
• 2 Hefty Pinches Kosher Salt

Drizzle the oil over the chopped zucchini, then salt. Aim for a light coating of oil and salt over every surface of the veg.

On the grill, we're shooting fast and hot.  Put the slices directly over the hottest part of the grill, checking and moving so that each piece gets blackened and blistered on both sides, but not turned to ash.  These need to get on a warmed plate in a hurry, they cool down quick and a cold zucchini is a dead zucchini.

It'll make enough to feel even the hungriest crowd of cow-punchers, and everyone will be too busy chewin' to start fightin'.